Self-doubt has a way of creeping in quietly. You might be doing well on the outside — managing responsibilities, achieving goals, being who others expect you to be — but underneath, there’s a constant hum of uncertainty.
You question yourself after conversations. You second-guess your decisions. You downplay your strengths. You feel like you need to do more, know more, or be more — just to feel “enough.”
At Santoka Therapy and Coaching, we work with many professionals, entrepreneurs, and creatives who feel exactly this way. They aren’t broken or unmotivated. They’re capable, conscientious, and committed — and often quietly battling the weight of self-doubt.
But here’s the truth: you don’t have to wait for external validation to feel secure in who you are. Self-belief is something you can build — not through constant striving, but through understanding, compassion, and steady practice.
Here’s what that process often looks like from a therapist’s perspective.
Why Self-Doubt Is So Common (Especially Among High Performers)
Self-doubt isn’t just a lack of confidence. It’s often rooted in deeper patterns — shaped by early experiences, internalised messages, or high-stakes environments where the cost of getting it wrong felt high.
Many people who struggle with self-doubt share certain traits:
- A strong inner critic
- A fear of failure or being found out
- Perfectionistic thinking
- People-pleasing tendencies
- A sense that they’re “faking it” — even with a solid track record
Over time, self-doubt becomes a habit — a lens through which you interpret the world. Even praise or success doesn’t quite land, because the story in your head says, “You were just lucky. You didn’t earn it. Next time, you’ll be found out.”
This is exhausting — and also deeply human.
Step One: Make Space for the Doubt (Without Letting It Drive)
In Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), we teach that confidence doesn’t come from eliminating self-doubt. It comes from learning how to hold it lightly — so it’s not the one making your decisions.
You don’t need to banish doubt. You just need to stop giving it all your attention.
You might practise saying:
- “There’s that self-doubt story again.”
- “I notice I’m having the thought that I’m not ready.”
- “This discomfort is here, and I can still choose what matters.”
Instead of trying to “fix” your mindset, you learn to move with it — gently and intentionally. This creates space for new actions, even while doubt is present.
Step Two: Understand the Role of the Inner Critic
Self-doubt is often fuelled by an internal voice that’s constantly judging, warning, or correcting. This inner critic may sound like it’s trying to help — but its methods are harsh, and the results are draining.
In Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT), we explore where this voice came from. Often, it started as a protective strategy — an attempt to keep you safe, motivated, or acceptable in environments where vulnerability wasn’t welcome.
But over time, it becomes a barrier to growth.
The antidote isn’t to swing to blind positivity. It’s to develop an inner coach — a voice that supports you with warmth, honesty, and care. A voice that says:
- “It’s okay to not know everything — you’re allowed to learn.”
- “You don’t have to prove your worth. You already have it.”
- “You can be imperfect and still capable.”
Building this voice takes time. But every time you speak to yourself with kindness instead of criticism, you reinforce a new pattern.
Step Three: Reduce Overthinking and Rumination
Self-doubt often leads to a loop of mental checking. You replay conversations. Analyse your decisions. Anticipate what others might think.
In Metacognitive Therapy (MCT), we help clients identify this as a form of perseverative thinking — not a personality trait, but a mental habit that can be changed.
You can learn to:
- Notice when you’re caught in overthinking
- Reduce the time you spend stuck in loops
- Shift your attention back to the present — where action happens
When your mind quiets down, even a little, your natural sense of self-worth begins to rise to the surface.
Step Four: Take Small Actions That Reflect Your Values
One of the most effective ways to build self-belief is to take small, intentional actions that reflect the kind of person you want to be — even when doubt is present.
That might mean:
- Speaking up in a meeting, even if your voice shakes
- Saying no when something isn’t right for you
- Owning your strengths without apology
- Asking for feedback — and receiving it without spiralling
These moments may not feel confident. But they build confidence — through repetition, self-trust, and alignment with your values.
ACT teaches us that identity is formed not just by thoughts, but by actions. You become someone who believes in yourself, not by thinking your way there, but by acting towards the desired outcome — one step at a time.
You Don’t Have to Stay Stuck in Self-Doubt
Self-doubt may feel familiar, but it doesn’t have to be permanent. It’s a pattern — and like any pattern, it can shift with the right support.
At Santoka Therapy and Coaching, we help professionals and creatives:
- Understand the roots of their self-doubt
- Quiet the inner critic
- Take action that aligns with who they want to be
- Build steady, sustainable self-belief — the kind that lasts
We offer online therapy and coaching sessions, as well as retreats on the west coast of Ireland, designed to help you reset and reconnect with your strengths.
Reach out today to book a free consultation. You don’t need to be fearless to move forward — you just need to believe that a new way of relating to yourself is possible.
And it is.
