Perfectionism often looks like high achievement from the outside — but inside, it can feel exhausting.
It’s not really about being perfect.
It’s about fearing what will happen if you’re not.
In coaching, we don’t try to demolish perfectionism in one giant leap. We work to shift your relationship with it — gently, steadily, and in small, practical ways that actually stick.
Here’s what that looks like.
Perfectionism is rarely about doing things well — it’s about fearing what happens if we don’t.
We can help people move beyond this fear — not by tearing it down overnight, but by shifting how we relate to it, one small step at a time.
Here are a few coaching tools we use to soften perfectionism and create meaningful change:
1. Practice “Good Enough” Decisions
Perfectionism thrives in overthinking. Try making some decisions quickly — not recklessly, but without endless comparison. The goal isn’t to lower your standards — it’s to release the pressure of getting everything exactly right.
2. Track Wins — Not Just Tasks
Perfectionists often move straight from one task to the next without pausing to acknowledge success. Try keeping a simple “what went well” list to build self-trust and interrupt the habit of only focusing on flaws.
3. Start Small — Seriously Small
When perfectionism spikes, we tend to set goals that are big, rigid, and unsustainable. Coaching helps you break them down into steps so small they feel laughable — because those are the ones you’ll actually take.
Small shifts create space for big changes. You don’t have to be perfect to move forward. You just have to begin.
Understanding the Roots of Perfectionism
Perfectionism is often tied to deeper fears: fear of failure, fear of disappointing others, fear of being unworthy.
The internal narrative can sound like:
- If I don’t get this right, everything will fall apart.
- If I make a mistake, I’ll lose people’s respect.
- If I slow down, I’ll fall behind.
Perfectionism keeps us chasing — more tasks, more control, more pressure — with little room to rest or feel truly satisfied.
Coaching offers a different path: one where you can build self-trust, take imperfect action, and loosen your grip on the need to get everything exactly right.
Practical Tools for Softening Perfectionism
Practice “Good Enough” Decisions
Perfectionists often get stuck in decision loops.
We want to make the best choice. We over-research. We stall.
Coaching helps you start practicing “good enough” decisions — where the goal is to choose something that’s aligned with your values, not something that’s guaranteed to be flawless.
Try this:
- Set a timer for 5 minutes to decide on smaller, low-stakes tasks.
- Remind yourself: A good decision made now is often better than a perfect one made too late.
This is not about being careless. It’s about freeing yourself from the burden of proving your worth through every single choice.
Track What’s Working
Perfectionists tend to have a finely-tuned radar for what’s wrong.
We breeze past what’s going well.
Coaching encourages you to track what’s working — intentionally, consistently, and without dismissing the “small stuff.”
Start a “What’s Working” list:
- What did I handle well today?
- What progress did I make, even if it felt small?
- Where did I show up with care or courage?
Shifting your focus helps build self-trust and quiets the inner critic that says nothing is ever enough.
Start Ridiculously Small
Perfectionism often pushes us toward all-or-nothing thinking.
We set big, rigid goals that feel exciting at first but quickly become overwhelming.
Coaching helps you scale those goals down to the smallest possible next step.
We’re talking laughably small — so small you can’t talk yourself out of it.
Why? Because small steps build momentum.
Small steps are how you start changing the story from “I can’t get this right” to “I can move forward, even if it’s not perfect.”
Why Small Shifts Matter
Perfectionism isn’t something you switch off overnight.
But each small shift — each “good enough” decision, each moment of self-compassion, each imperfect step — chips away at its grip on you.
Over time, those small shifts create big changes.
You don’t have to be perfect to move forward.
You just have to begin.
